It’s Alive!!!

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Yes.. It is and it is home recovering.

Things surgically went OK.. as expected.  As my surgeon expected.  I have no idea what I expected.  I have three small blue bandaids on my belly, the only visible reminders of my surgery.   Everything else is internal.  Hence the bright blue bandaids.  Apparently because I have no major external wounds, my brain will “forget” that I have had major surgery and I am probably likely to do something stupid like twist, reach, stretch, bend and the bandaids are there to remind me (and to cover the three small incisions that were made for the laproscopic assisted surgery).   What they failed to remember is that (a) I will be dressed and not naked and will not always see those bandaids and (b) If I was naked, I wouldn’t be able to see them because I am somewhat fatter than I should be and I CANNOT BEND!!!

I spent only 3 days in hospital after the surgery, which is pretty good.  They would not however let me come home unless I had “voided my bowels”  which of course, I hadn’t, having just had a bunch of surgical implements poking around in my inners.  That sort of thing seems to play havoc with ones bodily functions.  And so I was forced to endure one of the most demeaning things one can possibly endure.  An enema.  Is there anything worse?  I highly doubt it.  Anyway, it all came to an explosive end and I was finally allowed to leave.

I did come home with a little extra thing.  A post operative chest infection.  So fun times have ensued because coughing also is not recommended when you have internal stitches!

*pauses to cough up a portion of lung*

My husband has been wonderful… too wonderful.  He has been the movement Nazi.  I am constantly being told not to pick up my coffee cup, or walk to the toilet, or grab the tv controls.  He has been home with me for 2 days.. I have one to go and then he will be back a work..

I shall rejoice!  (I love him dearly, but shit… give a girl a break!)

Which brings me to my next head fuck… I am no longer with girly bits… what does that make one?  Meh… It’s just one of the random things that has gone through my head recently.

Anyhoo… things are progressing OK.. I think.

I just have to remember not to move…..

dammit, I just moved!

and again..

shit! I moved again….

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About Juuls

50(mumbles) Daughter, Wife, Mother, Frustrated writer, Doer of not much if I can help it. I am NOT a morning person. Short attention spa OOH! Kittens!! I jiggle, therefore I am.
This entry was posted in Humour, Life, My Life, Uncategorized, womens health and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to It’s Alive!!!

  1. Late to the party or you know to the post. Glad you’re home.

  2. jaynefranks says:

    It’s me again. I looked a little harder on your blog and found this more recent post. Fantastic you made it home. Always good news that. Wishing you well on your recovery now. Enjoy the attention while it lasts and the excuse for not having to lift the vac or even a finger for a wee while… And not having the girlie bits is not all bad, 🙂

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