I made the mistake of trying a short black. Not just a normal short black. A DOUBLE short black.
I’m not talking about a less than average height, dark skinned man. I’m talking coffee.
Now, I work for a place that specialises in coffee. So of course we have pretty nifty coffee machines available to use.
I usually drink one, sometimes two latte’s during the days I work. The rest of the week when I’m home, I might have an instant coffee or a cup of tea. I refuse to have a coffee machine at home. I’d probably drink way too much milky coffee and hot chocolate, and seriously, my arse does not need that right now.
I went to make a latte the other morning at work, but there was no milk. I was tired, cranky, and I hadn’t had a coffee yet, so I thought screw it. I made a short black. Actually it was a double shot. I added some sugar and went back to my desk.
It was delicious!
About two hours later I had another break and thought, dammit. I need another coffee. So I went back to the coffee machine and even though there was milk, I kinda thought I’d have another short black. And so, I made another double.
I started getting a bit shaky and I had trouble speaking coherently. I swear my glasses were blurry. And I couldn’t concentrate on anything! And I got the giggles at nothing.
I think I was jittery for about three hours then the headache hit. And I got really, really tired. I learned a lesson that day. I really really love short blacks!
Another thing I learned, happened while at the races on the weekend. We went to a country course to watch our horse race. We don’t own a whole horse, we own part of a horse with a group. Anyway, he was running so we thought it’s a nice day. It’s warm and sunny, let’s go for a drive and have a day at the races.
There were tonnes of people there. And of course, hubs forgot our deck chairs so we had to stand up because there were no spare seats anywhere. It was one of the biggest race days, so I’m talking thousands of people. We found a nice spot on the hill and sat on the grass.
We watched a few races until it was getting close to the time for our horse to run. Hubs really wanted to go down to the stable and see the horse and talk to our trainer, so we decided to go for a walk. Hence my lesson.
(1) We were sitting on the ground.
(2) There were about three hundred people sitting on the grassy hill around us.
(3) I cannot get up off the ground by myself any more without looking extremely ungainly and awkward due to my arthritis.
We were sitting on a slope, so I thought this won’t be too bad. Hubs grabbed my arms and started to pull. It was like he was lifting a hippo off the ground. My knees would not lock and I couldn’t push myself up. So there I was.. bum suspended in mid air, and Zac was not pulling quite hard enough. I could hear the giggling behind me, and I ended up laughing so much I had to sit back down again. Any way, we eventually got me up off the ground and into a standing position, much to the amusement of the crowd.
I took a bow, just to enjoy the moment.
Lesson learned: If my bum is lower than my knees, I cannot stand up. Avoid sitting on hills with three hundred people behind you.