Van Slam

Ahhh yes.. its that magical time of year… when parents gather up their children, and jam them into their vehicles along with Aunty Suze, Uncle Pete, Granny & Pop, 3 bikes, 2 scooters, an assortment of cricket equipment, footballs, soccerballs, several suitcases stuffed with secret Xmas presents, and an esky and head off into this great wide land of ours, to travel for anywhere between 5 and 25 hours, to park their mobile mansions, or sometimes, their canvas castles on a patch of grass 2 foot 6 inches away from another family in their mobile mansion or canvas castle for anywhere between 5 and 25 days, where they spend their days dining on charcoaled meats and sandfilled salads, washed down with luke warm beer and soft drinks because either the portafridge broke 10 minutes after they arrived, or the ice melted and there ice man has not delivered any to the shop, being either burnt to a crisp, or saturated by a freak storm, or hanging onto their belongings for dear life whilst being pummelled by winds of cyclonic proportions, and where they spend their nights listening to the dulcet tones of the man next door snoring, or granny farting, or that bloody baby screaming for 8 hours straight, only to wake and do it all over again….

Yes, VanSlam. Its a great Aussie tradition … or so I’m told… you think I’M going to subject myself to that?… PISS OFF!!!!


About Juuls

50(mumbles) Daughter, Wife, Mother, Frustrated writer, Doer of not much if I can help it. I am NOT a morning person. Short attention spa OOH! Kittens!! I jiggle, therefore I am.
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